Just to give a better perspective of my situation. I just got out of a 6-year relationship with a girl I am totally in love with; she isn't ready to commit, so we broke it off. I need to go on without her because she has made it clear that she needs to be on her own...and I can't be waiting around for anyone at this stage in my life. I know it is going to be extremely difficult to adapt to not having her in my life, and I expect it to be very painful if she tries to contact me or if I begin to feel the need to do so...but at this point, I need to go on alone. I guess this change in relationship status is what has sparked this new journey in my life. I was very surprised by that she asked to break it off because I was ready to fully commit to her and I thought that commitment was mutual. I was so ready that I recently bought an engagement ring. I was going to ask her to marry me after I finished my degree. You could say, we had plans to build a life together. But, thats not how it will work out, I guess.
Next, I mentioned my degree above. I have to write my qualifying paper and successfully finish my classes (2 easy, one seminar with a difficult project) in order to complete my degree. Right now, I am in the writing stage of my paper, it is very challenging, but I feel that I will come up with something acceptable (all I need is to pass). Then, I need to move on directly to the project for the seminar, which includes an experiment that tests production of vowels in bilinguals of Spanish/English. Exciting stuff I know. There are two more classes, which I just need to maintain acceptable grades in to graduate. When I finish this degree, I have a summer's worth of teaching, which will hopefully earn me enough money to hold me over till the new year. Then I have no work lined up...part of this journey will include considering different options and deciding eventually what type of job I want or if I want to continue on to a PhD.
Luckily, I recently discovered rock climbing as a hobby and have been practicing it since November of last year. I have progressed fairly quickly and really enjoy it. I guess it is what keeps me on even keel. I know that after a rough day, I can go to the rock wall and leave my stress there. I have also met some people there and will continue to try to develop those "friendships." I think that the majority of my post-masters inspiration will come from activities like rock climbing and surfing (my two passions in life). In fact, tonight I have a class that will teach me to lead climb/belay, so next rock climbing trip will be more enjoyable because I can lead some climbs. This sort of thing can only get better, as long as I stay healthy. Ah, another benefit of these activities is that they motivate me to to stay active and eat right, which has benefits beyond performance in these sports.
Ok, so just to recap. At the moment, I have my hands tied with MA stuff. I have a qualifying paper due in a couple weeks and then a project worth 70% of my grade in another class...then Graduation!!! I will make it, I just will be very busy and probably sad while finishing that. I expect to be sad because a very long and passionate relationship recently ended...I expect to miss my ex and fear the loneliness that will be inevitable as I transition. Finally, as summer begins and I have more time for myself, I plan to deeply contemplate my options, passions, and ideas for the future; because July 31 is the last day on my lease, a deadline per se. Not sure I will have things totally figured out by then, but will definitely have some progress. Throughout this process, I will be updating this blog to keep a record of my thoughts and developments in my life. As I start out, I have two main themes or ongoing goals...shed excess materials (travel light), and consider everything carefully and honestly (think deeply).
So here goes...
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